| Monday, November 01, 2004 |
| From November 2004 |
The Scent of a Woman
It's the smell of her that lingers with me. The scent that fills the room when she cums. Even the next day I can smell it on my skin. When we are together I forget everything else, the men are on their own. I know they touch me but it's just a distraction. All I want is to curl between her legs, licking, tasting until she moans my name. Until I can make her swear aloud and then do it all again.
Listening to: Staind - It's Been Awhile
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My Latest Obsession
Grant Lee Phillips - Virginia Creeper
from Far End Of The Night
Heard my own beloved cry
I heard my one beloved moan
What's the use in all the ache we must endure
I had no good reason why
Time hangs like a noose
Before me
Time stills to a crawl
Grinds so slowly
This whole album is incredible but I have these words stuck in my mind today.
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A Month of Mondays
I'm a little tense. The car died yesterday, water pump and a blown head gasket. I've since discovered that it's a common occurrence for that year engine. Of course having them tell me that made me feel SO much better! Wish some one could have announced that little fact to me BEFORE I bought the piece of shit. Oh plus I'm taking Fred to an orthopedic surgeon today. He's messed up his knee playing soccer. The house, the car, the kid, I don't have much left to go wrong.
Listening to: Dixie Chicks - Cowboy, Take Me Away
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Time flies or something like that
Days go by, it seems like it's been a week since I was here last. So much going on. So much to think about.
On the home front we're having crisis, the morgage holder is proceeding with a foreclosure. At least her lawyer claims they are. We've hired a lawyer ourselves who thinks the woman is a nutcase. The morgage was set up privately with no banks or loan companies involved. At the time it seemed like a great idea. We didn't have to worry as much about our credit history, she got to pick the family she wanted in her childhood home. It went down hill. I painted and removed the carpet..she complained. I pay my home owners policy on a monthly basis...she complains. I don't pay my property taxes monthly...she complains. She calls because a neighbor called to say I left my garbage can in the drive way too long. I thought at one point this week I might actually be going crazy. Shaking hands, sick stomach, I thought I might either start crying or laughing and never be able to stop.
Listening to: Grant Lee Phillips - Calamity Jane
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I'm not political
Really! I don't follow those things. But it's 2AM. I can't sleep. 20 electoral votes, doesn't sound like much does it?
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Where the hell did October go?
Ok, so I'm not great about posting...going to have to work on that. Some one near and dear to me reminded me about this blog so it's time to get busy. You'll notice my favorite writers are listed down the side. Most have some level of BDSM in their lives, so yes you can assume that I have an interest in that direction. In fact that's what led me to find Shimmer and from there I found the rest of them. There are others that I read, but this is the base. The ones I admire, the ones that can bring me to tears and laughter. The ones that make me savagely jealous or make me sweat with unnamed desire. I hope that some day I will be half as good as they are.
And now the back-story;
I mentioned in my first post about the people who whine about their screwed up lives and can’t understand how they got there. Well, please don’t think I’m arrogant. My life is extremely screwed up, I’m just willing to accept I am the reason it is how it is.
Let me give you the basic players. My husband of many years, we’ll call him Ron, is a great guy. He’s very likable. I like him a lot. The problem is I’m not sure we're in love any more. My marriage feels more like roomies with occasional benefits. We have fun; he’s really good at that. I need way more.
We have three children. We’ll call them Eeny, Meeny and Fred. (Cause I don’t want no Mo’.) Eeny is 17, a senior in high school and is becoming an amazing man. He will be leaving home in the spring. Meeny is 15. She’s mildly handicapped though we expect she’ll be able to live on her own, work and generally have a productive life. She is a remarkable young lady and I’m going to tell more of her story in a later post. Then there’s Fred. He’s 2 months shy of 14. Fred is the child my mother wished on me and I love him for it.
Now here is where it starts to get weird. Meet Bob and Lori, they are our swing/swap couple. Yes, I’m bi. Not only do I enjoy them in bed, I spend a lot of other time with them as well. You’ll be seeing them from time to time.
Last but not least is DS. He knows about every one else. None of them know about him. It started as an escape. I am a submissive but Ron is not comfortable with that, he just doesn't have the drive that I have. I think that’s part of his reason for Bob and Lori, to try and keep me happy.
Several years ago I had a short-term cyber relationship with a dominant. At the time it became too much emotionally for me and I ended it. A few months ago I decided to go looking for another. I feel like there is something missing in my life. Foolish me, I though I could keep myself detached. I was very wrong. I met DS through Alt.com. He knows the words to say. He doesn’t cringe when I tell him my fantasies. He has added new ones. The more we talk, about everything, the more I want.
So where do I go from here?
Listening to: Damien Rice - Volcano |
posted by twocents @ 12:00 AM   |
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Name: twocents
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