Two Cents Worth
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Edge's UNTAGGED UNMEME
I was lurking around trying to get caught up of some of my favorite writers when I stumbled across Edge's UNTAGGED UNMEME. Please take the time to check it out.
I'll wait.
Thanks Edge, for the topics. How has the internet changed your sex life (or, holy hell, I had no idea this shit was out there!!!)Did you start with porn surfing, do you still? Do you have favorite sites that you still visit?

I got my first computer back in ’98, along with a brand new US Robotics capture card and web cam. I knew right from the start there was a world full of freaks out there and I wanted to meet as many of them as possible. The first night online was spent downloading ICUII, ICQ and learning my way around the lingo of this new world I had discovered. The next day was spent finding web porn. My addiction was forming rapidly. I don’t think I slept more than 3 hours a night for the first six months. I remember cybering til 5 AM, crashing til 7:30 AM and then going to work dead tired and horny as hell. When I got home it all started again.

I’ve never gotten into the porn much because I like the images in my head much better. I do read large, daily amounts of stories. Literotica is my favorite, right after a ton of bloggers. I download movies from time to time if I can find one that gets my mind going. I remember the only time an image shocked me. I’ve seen the best and the worst the net has to offer but for some reason the man with 100 chop sticks up his ass really stunned me. I’d seen insertions and the like but there was something about those damn chopsticks sticking up from his rectum, well ‘nuff said!
More later.....
posted by twocents @ 12:57 PM   2 comments
Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged
  1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
  2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
  3. Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas
  4. Narcissistic--- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
  5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees andFire Hydrants and ...
  6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
  7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an OpenFire
  8. Full Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
  9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...
  10. Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
  11. Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From MyHouse in My Slippers and Robe
  12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus SoI Burned Down the House
  13. Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.
posted by twocents @ 9:33 AM   0 comments
Monday, December 19, 2005
INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN,
CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE
Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Bethlehem, Judea - Authorities were today alerted by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn. Upon arrival, Family Protective Service personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.

During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but were restrained by the police.

Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who allege to be wise men from an eastern country. The INS and Homeland Security officials are seeking information about these who may be in the country illegally. A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances. They resisted arrest saying that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country. The chemical substances in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The manager Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved in maintaining livestock in a commercially-zoned district.

The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship is. Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a census requirement. However, because she was obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their departure. Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment, and statutory rape.

Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her for endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God. The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others - in this case her child - we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confidant that with the proper therapy regiment we can get her back on her feet."
A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these others frightening. There is much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the end."
posted by twocents @ 2:36 PM   1 comments
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Hey!!

Temptress Willingly Offering Carnal Embraces and Naughty, Thrilling Stimulation

I'm going to need to take some time off in January to recover from December! Let's see so far; my ear infection came back and I caught a cold, my mom's birthday, my youngest son's birthday, three Christmas parties and a dinner for 120 people that I'll be preparing with only one assistant. That's all during last week and this coming week. I still have all of my Christmas shopping to do and decorating of the house. The tree went up last night. Any one expecting a "real" Christmas card from me this year can kiss my large round posterior!

I know a lot of people are up in arms about the whole Happy Holidays thing but frankly I'm having a hard time really seeing this as a problem. I'm a Christian so for me this is Christmas. If I were Swahili I might be celebrating Kwanza or if I were Jewish it'd be Hanukkah. If I were Pagan I might like celebrating the Solstice and then we all get into New Years.

Whatever.

This is the "holidays" therefore I will wish you a happy one. This is the season for winter festivities. Jesus was born some time in April. The organized Church (A.D. 320) decided to join in with the existing winter type parties and CREATE their own. I mean really, what the hell does pine trees, jolly fat men, annoying multicolored flashing lights or mistletoe have to do with the birth of Christ. I don't hear anyone chanting death to the snowmen!

posted by twocents @ 9:49 AM   3 comments
Saturday, December 10, 2005
The Justice Card
You are the Justice card. Justice preserves the
harmony of the world. Working with opposite
forces, Justice does not seek to criticize or
condemn but rather to accept. The idea behind
the card justice is that opposite forces are
complementary; you could not have good without
evil or light without darkness. Justice's
position is to make sure that if a thing is out
of balance, the weight of its energy is
realigned with its opposite force. This card is
also a card of humour, for it is in pointing
out contrary positions that humour is often
found. The attitude that is found in the
humourous person, being able to shift
perspective and flow with an instinct, is
important in the maintenance of good balance.
Image from The Blue Moon Tarot Deck.
http://www.themysticeye.com/pics/bluemoon.htm


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
posted by twocents @ 3:30 PM   1 comments
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
How well do you know me?
Stolen from several people, who swiped it from someone else, who swiped it from... well, you know how things go online.

Anyway, let's have a little fun. How well do you think you really know me? Here's what you do: Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. It would be great if you'd then copy and paste this in your own journal to see how your blog friends view you.

On with the fun.....

* dominant or submissive ~submissive~
* logical or intuitive ~intuitive~
* social or loner ~loner~
* kinky or vanilla ~kinky~
* cute or sophisticated ~both as needed~
* kitten or puppy ~kitten~
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin ~flannel~
* leader or follower ~I will lead if no one else will~
* quiet or talkative ~quiet~
* spontaneous or planned ~spontaneous~
* football or chess ~chess~
* hiking or golfing ~hiking~
* tequila or vodka ~vodka, straight, no chaser~
* top or bottom ~bottom~
* barefoot or shoes ~shoes, you can never have too many~
* jeans or Dockers ~jeans~
* tender or rough ~tender~
* aware or dreamy ~aware~
* nerd or geek~geek, a nerd with social skills~
posted by twocents @ 11:13 AM   5 comments
Stolen from Amethyst

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative

94%

Idealist

75%

Existentialist

69%

Materialist

50%

Postmodernist

44%

Fundamentalist

25%

Modernist

19%

Romanticist

19%

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com
posted by twocents @ 9:56 AM   0 comments
Thursday, December 01, 2005
New Home
I'm really having a hard time writing here. I've written 3 or 4 posts and then deleted them. It's kind of like moving into a new apartment when you just can't quite get that homey feeling. This isn't my home yet. I guess just like that apartment, I'll have to fake it til I get comfortable.
Life has been hectic. Ron's changing jobs and while thats a good thing, they have over lapped the last two weeks. He's worn down and irritable. The old job ends tomorrow so hopefully he'll be back to his brand of normal soon. The new job will give us benifits, something we have lived with out way too long.
I'm still checking in on all of you and as soon as I find this new voice, I'm sure you won't be able to shut me up!
posted by twocents @ 12:39 PM   6 comments
About Me

Name: twocents
Home: Maryland, United States
About Me:
See my complete profile

Previous Post
Archives
Links